Tuesday, October 6, 2009

I Couldn't Make This Stuff Up If I Tried...

Grandma: Well, nobody wants to get married anymore, except those gays and lesbians...
Dad: Hmm... Do you have something to substantiate that claim? Some sort of statistic, or report...?
Grandma: Oh, your father saw something. On ESPN. About the lesbians.
Dad: Ahh. Yep. Always them lesbians on ESPN, wanting to get married.

((A deep, fretful silence from Grandma. Dad tries in vain to contain his chortling.))

Grandma: I just miss the good old days, you know? When right was right and wrong was wrong. Everything was either black or white, there wasn't any of this...gray matter in between.
Dad: Well, that's exactly the problem, Mom, there wasn't any gray matter...


atimetorend said...

Funny, what a perfect setup at the end.

Reminds me of a story a friend told me, witnessed first hand at an extended family gathering in a room full of people. Conversation between an elderly aunt and her nephew who is gay and out of the closet to his family.

Great Aunt Bernice: You're getting older, aren't you ready to settle down and get married?
Nephew (in annoyed and forceful voice): Aunt Bernice, *I'm gay*!
Great Aunt Bernice: You need Jesus!

I think that was the end of the conversation!

Lorena said...


It would be hard to make up shit like that. It almost sounds like a movie script.

I love people like your grandma. She is affording you the priceless privilege of letting you know what she thinks. I often think that MANY feel exactly the way she does, but keep it to themselves, deceiving us into believing that such ideals are dying.

Funny story, ATTR